The Gift of Fear – Discounting the Word “No” – The Experience for Woman and Men is Different.

10 Feb

Dead Wild Roses

parkade2   Gavin de Becker in his book The Gift of Fear is about how we sometimes short circuit the information we receive from the environment.  Here is an excerpt regarding a seeking help in a situation and concluding with how social dynamics really bollocks things up for women.

   “A woman alone who needs assistance is actually far better off choosing someone and asking for help, as opposed to waiting for an unsolicited approach. The person you choose is nowhere near as likely to bring you hazard as is the person who chooses you. That’s because the possibility that you’ll inadvertently select a predatory criminal for whom you are the right victim type is very remote. I encourage women to ask other women for help when they need it, and it’s likewise safer to accept an offer from a woman than from a man. (Unfortunately, women rarely make such offers…

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Sustaining a strategic feminist movement

9 Feb

Gender Is War

by Tara Prema

Developing an effective response to the worldwide crisis of male violence

Strategic Feminism is a framework for collective action against patriarchal violence. The framework is based on acknowledging that the struggle for women’s liberation can – and must – adapt the lessons of asymmetric conflicts, such as guerrilla uprisings against  occupying armies. We can apply the lessons of successful insurgencies to our aboveground organizing. And we must do so. It is a matter of life and death: every minute, men rape, abuse, abduct, and murder girls and women. Time is short – we must prepare for worse still to come.

Strategic Feminism draws on the excellent analysis of asymmetric conflict in Deep Green Resistance: A Strategy to Save the Planet. In Part One, we discussed the crisis of male violence against women and sketched a solution based on organizing for action in our communities. Here…

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Beer Sale

9 Feb

Afternoon trip to the grocery store

Buy three, get one free!

Mushrooms, garlic
Paper towels
There are no rubber gloves
What is wrong with this store.

Down the back aisle by the meat counter
You are down there by the chicken stacks
Stalking along.

I divert down Seasonal Things.
My, isn’t it busy today? Excuse me. Excuse me.

Back up again to survey the milk.
Cheese, cream, mission accomplished.

Here is a store person! “Where are the gloves?”

We don’t know, there may be gloves, but if
There are, they are back there
Where you started
By the beer.

Back, back, back. There are still
No gloves here
And it’s time to check out.

Organize the gatherings
Arrange the shopping bags
Make a neat pile of
My mail and other belongings.

Sack it up, slip the card through the slot
Type in my phone number for Rewards I will likely

Not get.

Collect the Monopoly tickets

All ready to go. Walk down the aisle
To the western door
Nearest to the beer aisle
There you are
Done checking out too
Looking at the floor

I feel a little anger
And a waft of sorrow
And I look at you hard but you don’t look back

And I leave my Monopoly coupons
On a case stack by the door
Because I’m like that, I leave things

And I spend a horrible amount of time
Packing my bicycle just perfectly
And I don’t look back.

I am a Coward

8 Feb

I don’t think you’re a coward at all. You’re honest and you have an important perspective from your work.


I was reading a very, very angry making post over on a Very Clever Blog, and I realised, I am a coward.

See, our Very Clever Blogger was talking about some abuses that happened in a psychiatric ward.  I wish I could say that I don’t believe the Very Clever Blogger, but I can’t say that.  I believe her.  Absolutely.  100%.

And, because I believe VCB, I don’t work psyche.

When I was in nursing school, I was supposed to do two psyche rotations, but weaselled out of my second one.  I hated psyche almost as bad as I hated pediatrics.  That is to say, peds almost flunked me out of nursing school.  I became very depressed, and could hardly finish my rotation.  I hated seeing the small children sick and injured.  And, the few abuse cases I saw almost broke my heart.  So, I did what I usually do…

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8 Feb

They just wear you down, they wear you down. “No” doesn’t mean “try harder.”

Dear Diary, I “Hate” Men Yet I Preserve Their Moral Worth

8 Feb Featured Image -- 2420

Asaase Yaa Mma

Diary Obaa BoniDear Diary,

Irony is exemplified as feminism is accused of man-hating, when it is the only means of maintaining men’s moral worth. I am exhausted with being accused of holding ill intentions towards people on the basis of their gender identity as men. I feel stuck.

I am sure it feels like I am harsh with men. However, I assure you, it is their guilty conscience, and the undue liberties that they are given as members of an oppressive class, that makes it feel like so. Not coincidentally, whites, the upper class, and other privileged people often interpret a critique of their role in maintaining unjust systems of domination as an attack on their person. Sadly, marginalized people who internalize the false superiority of the privileged often tend to interpret critiques as attacks as well.

However this sentiment has proven dangerous.

For if opponents of gender equality can convince…

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Blocking puberty–and the right to an identity crisis

7 Feb

Great post.


I recently wrote about research findings that gay and lesbian youth are typically older than their heterosexual counterparts when they first act upon and realize their sexual orientation. While same-sex attracted girls, in particular, reach this milestone between 19-early 20s, the current trend is to “socially transition,” then puberty block, and finally move on to cross sex hormones at age 16.

It’s easy to see that many of these teens are being set up to short-circuit the natural discovery of their sexual orientation. But is that the only potential problem with social transition and puberty blocking—the preemptive conversion of likely gay and lesbian youth to transgender?

Not by a longshot. There are so many important things that happen at puberty which are critically important to the maturation necessary to make informed decisions about major life changes (you know–things like sterility, loss of breasts, and a permanently deepened voice) that…

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New York Magazine: How the Fight Over Transgender Kids Got a Leading Sex Researcher Fired

7 Feb

“If your child insists on dressing up as a girl every day” sigh.

Yet another weird amalgam of bullshit gender acceptance and glimmerings of understanding that this train wreck is, well, a train wreck.


jesse singal zucker

From Jesse Singal of NYMag:

“On paper, Dr. Kenneth Zucker isn’t the sort of person who gets suddenly and unceremoniously fired. For decades, the 65-year-old psychologist had led the Child Youth and Family Gender Identity Clinic (GIC), in Toronto, one of the most well-known clinics in the world for children and adolescents with gender dysphoria — that is, the feeling that the body they were born with doesn’t fit their true gender identity. Zucker had built up quite a CV during his time leading the clinic: In addition to being one of the most frequently cited names in the research literature on gender dysphoria and gender-identity development, and the editor of the prestigious journal Archives of Sexual Behavior, he took a leading role helping devise diagnostic and treatment guidelines for gender dysphoric and transgender individuals. He headed the group which developed the DSM-5’s criteria for its “gender dysphoria” entry, for…

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Former WPATH president pointedly fails to disclose

7 Feb

The truth about AUTOGYNEPHILIA

Unaffiliated? Unaffiliated?

The former president of WPATH, the biggest, craziest, crookedest transgender activist organization, recently commented on WHO’s draft ICD-11 disease classifications & billing codes. As you may know, a conflicted WPATH clique of trans-activist characters got together with some soft minds at WHO to cook up language for ICD-11 that completely removes “gender identity” and similar phony conditions from the realm of “mental health problems.” The draft ICD-11 language suggests that transgenderism is normal and fine, not delusional, not a fetish, not self-hatred, not arising from any other type of psychosocial or mental condition. And yet, doctors may still submit bills for giving hysterectomies and radical mastectomies to healthy but confused teenage girls, with parallel surgical debaucheries for healthy males.  If WPATH had its way, all “transgender” conditions would be seen as no big deal, and even desirable! If they are not insane, WPATH promoters are…

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6 Feb


Art credit Judith W Ross


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