What’s a dead woman, anyway? Reeva Steenkamp and the stories of men

22 Oct

Originally posted on glosswatch:

To be a woman is to be penetrable, there to take whatever men wish to ram inside you. It can be anything, from words to ideas to body parts, just as long as there is no reciprocity. Nothing of your own reality – your words, your ideas, your body – can make an impression on anyone else. You raise your voice but you might as well still be gagged. You say the same words, again and again, but until they’ve been uttered by someone male, they might as well not have been said at all.

At times this is a joke, as in this Fast Show sketch. Ha! Men! They never listen to women! At other times, our penetrability, set against men’s refusal to absorb in return, can be lethal. Reeva Steenkamp took what Oscar Pistorius chose to force inside her: bullets. Now what remains are his words, his ideas,

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QotD: “you are a garbage person, your politics are absolutely worthless”

21 Oct

Miep:

<3

Originally posted on Anti-Porn Feminists:

I’m not going to reblog the post because I don’t want to contribute to hijacking what was meant to be a moment of solidarity for a victim but jesus christ if your politics cause you to believe it’s important to put “friendly reminders that radfems are evil!” on posts about a radical feminist who was raped then you are a garbage person, your politics are absolutely worthless, and you need to fuck off to a mountain where no one but the rocks and lizards will be bothered by your horribleness.

Next Years Girl

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Of the World Looking Over the Edge

21 Oct

Miep:

Marginal world.

Originally posted on Poor Impulse Control:

About twenty-two years ago, I was standing in my kitchen first thing in the morning with an eerie feeling, when I turned around and saw Sam standing in the doorway, pale as a sheet. His hand was bandaged. Sam had spent the night at the hospital. He asked if I could pay the cab driver.

This is Sam. I did not take this picture.

This is Sam. I did not take this picture.

I grabbed my wallet and ran outside. When I came back to the kitchen, he told me he’d put his hand into a saw and nearly cut off his fingers. In the days that followed, he couldn’t even look at his injuries. I cleaned and bandaged them. He recovered. We had a four- or five-month disastrous relationship and an agonizing breakup that burned a hole through me I try not to remember in any great detail. We could not be friends.

Why did he have this? Why did he give it to me? Why did he have this?…

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Minding Our Language

20 Oct

Originally posted on Queer Theory: The new men's rights movement:

This new article on language, radical feminism, and “-isms” versus “-phobias” is one of the most important things I’ve ever read.

Everything is too good, I can’t pick out just one quote:

Yet just as ‘ism’ words have yielded to ‘phobia’ words, this understanding of the structural and systemic nature of oppression seems increasingly to have yielded to an analysis which is more and more focused on hatred as the driving force behind it. In the criminal justice system, for instance, there is now a category of ‘hate crimes’—offences  motivated by hatred of the group the victim belongs to—which are treated as more serious and punished more severely than the same offences committed for other reasons. As Liz Kelly has pointed out, this approach does not help to deliver justice for women and children, because the ways in which they are most often victimized do not fit the definition…

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Brokeback radfem: sometimes the metaphors write themselves

19 Oct

Miep:

Yep.

Originally posted on phonaesthetica:

Did you know that a teenager can break her back, but not know it until after her 40th birthday when a neurosurgeon spots the break on an MRI? It’s true!

This means I traversed high school, college, and grad school; was married and divorced; came out; worked 23 consecutive jobs in a half-dozen careers; lived in 19 different apartments and houses; emigrated to Canada and back; and spent five years on a six-day-a-week Crossfit schedule – all with a fractured spine. Which is horrifying, but also…kinda metal, if I do say so myself.

My surgeon is going to take the vertebra in question and bone-graft it into a spinal tea cozy to protect the new manufactured vertebra, then attach the whole shebang together with screws that look oddly like what you get at Ikea. He said the break happened when I was between 10 and 16. A childhood spinal fracture is a bit like…

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The #takehomeselfie rules

17 Oct

Miep:

Nice work!

Originally posted on glosswatch:

There is universal acceptance that women are constantly under threat of attack. It is in the air we breathe. Don’t go there, don’t do this, don’t wear that, remember I’m only telling you this because it’s common sense. We live our lives exposed, vulnerable and never able to forget it.

I think it is rare for a woman to walk anywhere alone without weighing up the risk, not just of being assaulted but also of being held responsible for any potential assault. I do this as a matter of course. It doesn’t stop me moving from place to place – I barely acknowledge that it’s happening – but it does mean I’m constantly feeling “I shouldn’t be here”. As a woman, wherever you are – at home, the workplace, somewhere in between – you know that this isn’t really your space. Men know it, too. Women are penetrable, weak, raw…

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Where Do Birds Go

16 Oct

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