Terrible Wars

3 Mar

The terrible wars are always internecine. I am of the philosophy that we are all one, bugs, humans, grizzly bears, pond slime, etc. I understand that’s kind of hard for lots of people to get their heads wrapped around.

This one is between humans, radical feminist separatists and transwomen.

I am no expert, by far. I read a radical feminist separatist blog. I find the author interesting. I also have read a lot of writing by transwomen. I have a transman Internet friend. I had a friendly acquaintance for some time, with a woman who started out straight, decided she was a lesbian, fell in love with her drag queen boyfriend, and stayed with him and married him after he went through medical transgender surgery and hormonal medication. I fell out of touch with her and her wife, but I’ve always wished them well, and thought them brave.

I can’t own the experiences of transwomen or radical feminist separatists, because I am neither. I do know there is a war, though.

Radical feminist separatists have been chastised by non-separatists as giving feminism a bad name. I used to agree with that. Now, I dunno. They have a point. Men have been abusing women for thousands of years, men aren’t getting serious enough about getting this stopped, they want out. They want spaces with no men. And that includes anyone who was born and raised male.

Sadly, transpeople do exist, people who suffer from gender dysphoria. People who are deeply identified with their non-birth gender, whose bodies feel wrong for them. People we should feel compassion for.

But we can’t just magically turn men into women, or women into men. We are stuck with our bodies, even with plastic surgery and hormones. No bio-man can really become a woman, no bio-woman can really become a man.

It’s tragic.

Now is where the law enters in: can people declare themselves to be legally of the opposite gender?

Well, perhaps we could do this if the person got themselves medically turned into the opposite gender as much as possible. Except that this is not possible for lots of people. So if we want to let transpeople become legally their identified gender, we have to let them do it without medical intervention, if we want to be fair and not engage in economic biases.

Okay, so where does this leave the radical feminist separatists? With transwomen who really do believe they are women, but still look like men, including having penises, wanting to join radical feminist separatist groups. Groups that include a lot of women who have had their mental health deeply messed with by men. I’ve thought about this a lot, and the only way I can see out of it is for the radical feminist separatist groups to redefine themselves as women who have grown up female, traumatized by the culture as female, and not interested in bonding with people who grew up male with male privilege, but still be kind to transwomen and try to be supportive about transwomen finding their own venues, and accept the sad fact that their unwanted male heritage is triggering for female separatists.

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3 Responses to “Terrible Wars”

  1. mieprowan 2013/03/04 at 12:15 am #

    Oh, and the radical separatist feminist blog is femonade. factcheckme at wordpress.

    I like this woman. She’s just given up on men, she writes thusly. I’m not there myself but I don’t blame her. Who am I to try to own her experience? Who am I to try to argue with a sweet intelligent woman with a fun, kind of offbeat writing style, who posts dessert recipes and is nice and friendly and has given up entirely on the possibility of human bio-males being anything other than dangerous?

    I’m old, I like to try to work on being a nice lady, with zero tolerance for being jerked around. The femonade author seems like a nice lady who wants to have men entirely out of her life, and wants to define what “man” means, herself.

    Okay, so what’s the problem here? Maybe we could just leave this nice lady alone? Maybe we could learn a bit more about tolerance?

    Like

  2. Some guy 2013/03/04 at 3:47 pm #

    Not sure I understand the agonizing here – if born- XX chromosome women want to have their own separate and exclusionary space to talk about stuff, why does anyone else get to tell them they can’t have it?

    Like

    • mieprowan 2013/03/04 at 4:03 pm #

      Has to do with legal definition of gender. Transgender people want to be legally defined as their chosen gender and then claim discrimination. Radfem separatists find this threatening.

      Like

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