Letter From A Transwoman

23 Jun

A purported transwoman sent me a comment yesterday, from an account with the name “Your Sister.”

Okay, first: you’re not my sister. I have no idea who you are and you have no business writing strangers and telling them you are their sister. It’s intrusive and kinda weird.

This person then wrote that it’s a shame that anyone trans would resort to assaulting anyone or saying anything harmful. 

This was courteous and appreciated.

Next this person decided to write stuff to educate me.

1.  All trans are not the same. There is no unified trans community. 

Okay, good.

2. Trans don’t want to be women, they are women. Sorry, this just doesn’t fly. You aren’t something just because you think you are.

3. Some biological factor makes your brain think your body is alien. Sorry, there is no substantive science to back that up, and plenty of cultural analyses indicating that it’s your socializing that makes you think your body is alien.

4. To call you male is to deny your existence, to dehumanize you. Nope. It might be courteous to address you as female, but you don’t get dehumanized by people who notice that you are not biologically female. 

5. That is transphobia and it says it’s okay to attack and kill you for being a freak. Nope. Women don’t assault transwomen, men do. Women are only afraid of transwomen to the extent they act rapey and invasive and pretend they are women and get angry when we want to talk about icky reproductive stuff like menstruation. 

6. Transwomen suffer violence similarly to women. How do you know this? Where is the data on this? 

7. Only a fraction of men are victims of rape, and only a fraction of “cis” are victims of violence. Again, where’s your data? 

8. You wound up your comment saying you and many of you love me. I find it kind of creepy when strangers on the internet write and say they love me.

17 Responses to “Letter From A Transwoman”

  1. Rosa Idziak 2013/06/23 at 3:53 am #

    I find your comments very offensive. From your opening comments ‘Okay. First. You are not my sister,’ suggests you are petty minded, vindictive and lacking in humanity. I won’t read any of your future posts. No doubt this will not bother yu in the last. Neither should it. I won’t say good luck because the less people identify with you, the better.


    • mieprowan 2013/06/23 at 4:10 am #

      Sorry you feel that way, but generally speaking, total strangers who say they are my sisters or say they love me while meanwhile they’re working busily to discredit me, are not people I’m going to welcome into my personal life and family with open arms. I guess I’m just old-fashioned.


    • femingen 2013/06/23 at 5:31 am #

      The only other alternative is to accept that someone is “your sister” just because they identify as such. Which, well, you know… heard that one before.


  2. A Woman 2013/06/23 at 9:54 am #

    Roberto González Onrubia, taken advantage of, tortured, and beaten to death by two cis women.


  3. Kyle 2013/06/24 at 12:54 am #

    Wow Miep! You’re petty minded, vindictive, and lacking in humanity for not accepting a complete stranger on the internet as your sister! LOL!


    • Lithp 2013/07/09 at 7:10 pm #

      Might be kind of extreme, but it does strike me as unnecessary to spit on a gesture of goodwill & inclusiveness just because “lol you’re a stranger.” While I can see where she’s coming from, acting shocked that people are insulted by obviously insulting language just makes no sense.

      “Sorry, there is no substantive science to back that up, and plenty of cultural analyses indicating that it’s your socializing that makes you think your body is alien.”

      This is wrong. There is a wealth of evidence to the biological theory. The MRI studies of transgender brains have been replicated about 7 times, & always or almost alway finds that transgender brains more closely match the “opposite sex” than the person’s biological sex. There have also been a couple of studies that give minor evidence to the influence of a certain gene & fetal hormone levels.

      I have never seen any “cultural analysis” that plausibly describes how “socialization” makes you want to change sex. Of course, just because I haven’t seen them, that doesn’t mean that they don’t exist. But that’s a pretty tall order, as you have to explain how someone would be motivated to such an extreme, in spite of the fact that they are often socialized as “normal” boys & girls, & what makes them different from everyone else.

      You might have also noted that I put “cultural analysis” in quotes. It’s not that I think they’re useless, but as no variant of “science,” “experiment,” etc. was used, I have to conclude that this is talking about observational arguments. An argument can be perfectly valid & also completely wrong. I’m not saying those are useless, but if it doesn’t test a hypothesis by controlling random factors, then it’s not valid evidence. Really, even if you didn’t know that the brain scans exist, I fail to see how you could come to the conclusion that your unsubstantiated theory is superior to someone else’s.

      “That is transphobia and it says it’s okay to attack and kill you for being a freak. Nope. Women don’t assault transwomen, men do. Women are only afraid of transwomen to the extent they act rapey and invasive and pretend they are women and get angry when we want to talk about icky reproductive stuff like menstruation.”

      I would say that a man who attacks a transperson probably thinks something very similar, & the people he heard it from are not necessarily physically involved in assaults themselves. Fred Phelps, for instance, is one of the most virulently homophobic men alive, but he rarely, if ever, actually attacks someone over it.


  4. druidwinter 2013/08/31 at 12:38 pm #

    4. When you are a male insisting that you are a woman, you deny and cheapen what it is to be a woman and take away a woman’s human right to define herself as part of the reproductive sex binary that creates other humans, whether they choose to have children or not.

    5. Women are not attacking anyone trans, wrong pronoun? How about death threats and female children as young as 9 taken right out of their bedroom windows for rape/trafficking targets?

    Many trans get beat when working as streetwalkers, women are still being killed at a much higher rate in that line of work. Sorry, we wone the gold by a large percentage. Our abuse is normalized in a video game that allows you to kill hookers so you dont have to pay them, Why not protest against this instead of whine about pronouns? This kind of acceptable violence leads to trans prostitutes getting killed in prostitution. These violent men discover you are not women, so they treat you like women in the worst way we are treated at the hands of men.. You dont see the connection? Or is killing women not the same as men getting killed? If those were trans prostitutes -you would be all over that, but since they are women, you dont care about those women and even laugh along with the men at their unfortunate deaths.

    Women are raped, trafficked, abused, treated as lesser humans as a separate slave class and killed as lesser beings on a daily basis, A DAILY BASIS, even in countries that claim they have equality. The male class subjects them to this, A man wearing a women’s clothes does not lose male privilege, except to a small number of men that want to keep this system. They punish trans people by treating you like they treat women they abuse,

    Welcome to being treated like a REAL woman, did you think it was all pantihose, heels and trading roast recipies? Being a woman is trying to be the peace keeper in a world of violent men that see you as fuckable, useful or useless with no other reason to exist.

    A women doesnot gain male privilege, but loses her self love as part of the female community when she calls herself male trying to escape the slave class, but is subject to more abuse from many more men and even women for not conforming and even labeled as mentally ill for being wreck less for putting your self and other females that accompany you -in more danger of violent acts from men[my grandmother pointed this out, and she is right]. Been there, done that, for two years.

    Short men are low in the hierarchy of male privilege, tall females can only be slightly lower than equal to short men, and they will ask about lesbian sex as ‘male-talk’ constantly- if you dont want to gossip, you are lower than the shortest man and useless as a male. Short females will always be at the bottom, no matter how ‘cool’ they are, 5’4″? Short, 5’7″? still too short.

    Chew on that, ‘sister’.


    • mieprowan 2013/09/01 at 4:06 am #

      Much of my thoughts and feelings on this subject can be summed up as my disagreeing that a vagina is something one can cut into a person, or out of. What shall we be cutting into or out of people next? The whole idea sets a deeply misogynistic precedent. We already have to deal with the linguistic derivation of “vagina” being “sheath.” We have lots of porn with images of women with knives inserted into their vaginas, I have read from reliable sources. And now a man can become a woman by having his crotch carved out.

      But people don’t want to talk about this, they want to talk euphemisms and be nice. Not their crotches being knived, I’ll warrant.


      • Lithp 2013/09/01 at 4:56 am #

        I was brought here through E-mail alert. I can only put myself on E-mail alert by posting a comment. I have no comment listed in this thread. Therefore, I can safely conclude that I left a comment, & it was deleted. If this is the case, then it’s not that your critics are avoiding the subject, but that you don’t want to hear from them.


      • Lithp 2013/09/01 at 4:58 am #

        Ah, it is “awaiting moderation,” not deleted. My mistake, but a similar principle.


        • mieprowan 2013/09/01 at 5:09 am #

          I see my blog as being like the New York Times. Neither of us feel remotely obliged to take the time to publish and address everything anyone sends us.

          If you feel your voice is insufficiently heard, I suggest that you get your own blog, where you can write anything you want.


  5. mieprowan 2013/09/01 at 4:52 am #

    If we can cut a vagina into a person, can we cut a flower into a vine?


    • druidwinter 2013/09/01 at 9:55 pm #

      well said! :)


      • mieprowan 2013/09/01 at 10:03 pm #

        Thanks. I am really tired of this subject. It seems quite obvious to me at this point that some men don’t like being men and would like another gender caste, and instead of creating their own, they try to appropriate ours. Meanwhile, other guys go along with this because they don’t want to deal with these guys, and want us to tend to them, because that’s what women are for, right?

        The brain science stuff is irrelevant because of the failure to prove causality, and the fact that what you do changes your brain. Even if an organic cause was found for men believing themselves to be women, that would not make them women.

        The whole damn world is being murdered by this culture, created, run by, and sustained by men, and all anybody wants to do is argue about this bullshit. I’m going to plant a butterfly garden, at least that way I’ll be doing something useful.


  6. mieprowan 2013/09/01 at 5:21 am #

    Also, LithP, do you have any idea how boring it gets to have men endlessly telling me I should be nicer to men? This crap got old about forty years ago. Maybe men should be nicer to men, has that ever occurred to you? That maybe it’s your turn to deal with your crazy?


  7. mieprowan 2013/09/01 at 5:29 am #

    Okay, there’s your comment. I would pick it apart, but that would be redundant. The science is not there, these sorts of arguments are so thin. And if you can’t see how men and women are socialized from childhood to specific gender roles, you are not paying attention, are wasting my time, trolling me.


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