Beer Runner Can

7 Aug

I was out at a convenience store earlier this evening and some fool tried to steal my bicycle, which was locked. I watched him steel himself to try ride off on it, through the glass windows, while I was checking out. The second he started to make his move I was out the door screaming at him. “What the FUCK do you think you’re doing?”

“Sorry!” he whimpered, and scurried off. Good thing he didn’t pull a gun, I suppose. I didn’t even think about it.

The young women behind the counter were, I think, slightly impressed. They have to deal with this kind of petty thievery and other male bullshit all the time. I know that if I were in their position I would have gotten a kind of kick out of it. I don’t know what I would have done if the guy had given me any shit. Gone for the eyes, perhaps.

They go through a lot of staff. The other day there was a lovely young woman with pink streaks in her hair. I discussed with her the can of soup on the counter, decorated and inscribed “beer runner can,” with additional terse information indicating that it would be hurled when appropriate.

She said they had someone run off with beer the previous night and she thought she’d create a little artistic deterrence. “That’s very creative!” I said.

I didn’t notice the beer runner can this evening. This should be an OSHA violation, confiscating the beer runner can.

One Response to “Beer Runner Can”

  1. Saye Bennett 2016/08/07 at 7:05 am #

    Battle on!


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