Old girlfriends

5 Feb

My relationship with rage started early probably what with all the
Back and forth.

And then there was more of that displacement and later
A lot of wtf

Later, I found dreams and hopes that
Got dashed into the metropolitan Los Angeles apartment cube carpet
With my girlfriends.

We had ideas, we did. That, somehow, somewhere we might matter
As in for keeps.

I never really wound up for keeps
I don’t know that my girlfriends did either
One is long dead
And one is too scary now, at this late date
After all the children
Her eldest who showed me
An imaginary Valium for her mother
My friend
And that was thirty years ago

I hear she’s still around, here on Facebook
The “blonde biker bitch”
Whom members of my family
Allowed to be raped, at an early age
Like 13
I should know
I was there
I was the assigned observer

Rachel survived being the Blonde Biker Bitch
She survived slavery
She survived heroin
She survived prison

And now that I am an old woman, I find myself wondering
What become of her, and her Valium children
What became of all those women
Who might have turned out family
If this culture had been more kind to us
If it had ever really occurred to everyone
All at once, even for a minute
That we mattered.

3 Responses to “Old girlfriends”

  1. Raine 2018/02/05 at 4:01 am #

    Sad and sweet.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Renegade Research 2018/02/05 at 4:21 am #

    This is so powerful, Miep. It touches many chords.

    Liked by 2 people

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