Tag Archives: evil

Thanks, Lily!

25 Dec

Nothing Says Merry Christmas Like Torturing Your Cat, Poisoning Your Dog, And Accusing You Of Being Full Of Devils.

Thanks, Lily!

Fortunately, you haven’t killed any of us yet, and I got Jess out and she was promptly adopted into Cat Lottery Win. Meanwhile, everyone else nonhuman is consigned into quarters unless supervised. Because you are so fucking batshit crazy that I don’t want you within 500 feet of any of us without a wall in the way. Or me.

Thank Dog you don’t know about drones.

Advertisements

Lily, You Suck Bigtime

21 Dec

Jess at the shelter

You’re my neighbor, Lily. Remember all the vegetables I grew that I gave you? Remember all that other stuff I gave you?

Because we’re neighbors! as you always said.

I thought, okay. I want to be on good terms with my neighbors. That’s only sensible.

Remember my sweet cat Alice? The one who visited you and whom you let indoors? She caught you some mice, you said. That was nice.

Alice got sick and died ten years ago. But meanwhile, I adopted an equally sweet cat, Jess. She used to visit you. I hoped you had become friends, even though you weren’t speaking to me after the last accusatory insane outburst.

I’d pretty much given up on you, Lily. I know, you’re really old. But you’re also really crazy.

And you feed my dogs chicken bones and fat over the fence. And you trapped my poor cat Jess and left her in the rain for a long time before Animal Control came and got her.

I hear she was really freaked. This is animal abuse, Lily. You are a sociopath, Lily. Because that’s what sociopaths do. Torture cats.

Jess has gone to the animal shelter now. I hope your traumatizing of her won’t ruin her chances of adoption. She was a perfect cat and would have loved to be your friend, like Alice was. Jess loves dogs, she would not have hurt your chihuahua. If you still have him. If you haven’t murdered him somehow.

I’m looking forward to your death, Lily. I plan to dance on your grave. Because you really, seriously suck. I hear all your kids don’t want to have anything to do with you. Wise move.

I’m a sensible person and don’t make death threats, nor act to hurt people, because I am kind, which you are not. You are merely manipulative, narcissistic, whiny and cat-torturing.

So, not to worry. I’m not going to do anything to you.

Well, other than pointing out that you really, really suck. 

The Ocean Is Angry

15 Sep

The Ocean is Angry

She dreams about us
Remembers our mad failings
We sleep unaware.

Weather reported
Perhaps we pay attention
Or maybe we drown.

She is behind this
Her flails grow stronger and beat
Brutally rising.

We have wondered how
All this would turn out, after
Men fucked it all up.

An answer appears
“We are just getting started.”
Thanks, Ocean. Good night.

%d bloggers like this: