Tag Archives: Lily

The Trap Is Gone. The Light Is Off.

28 Dec

This is like chess. Has the cat trap been removed, or knight-jumped behind the shrubbery somewhere? And what about the light? I don’t see it gleaming in the background upon a new strategic location.

What on earth will happen next? Now that I have been informed that I have devils in me because I had the temerity to be furious about my cat being trapped without warning and left in the freezing rain, it’s hard to even guess. 

Meanwhile, someone suggested this to me. Tempting.


Lily Lights the Cat Trap

27 Dec

Lily Lights the Cat Trap

Lily had a few guys doing something in her yard the other day. I now note that there are two bright little incandescent bulbs, one on the back porch and one in the back of the yard, adjascent to the cat trap. This on top of the street light the city installed on the border of our yards after someone torched the other neighbor’s milk barn.

The street light dims periodically for energy saving, so I guess that was just too scary.

So Jess has her own personal Dachshunds and heated doghouses, and Lily has her own personal illuminated cat trap. Who’s having more fun?

She’s lucky I’m not a truly evil neighbor, or I’d acquire a stuffed toy cat, dress in black, charcoal my face, sneak over the fence and insert it in the trap.

Or maybe I could put up a sign where she can see it, reading “Lily, cat traps work better in the dark. Just trying to help.”

Or maybe I could build a deck by the low fence, buy my other cat Charlotte a harness and leash, and we could just hang there on lawn chairs and contemplate the cat trap, like some kind of feline shrine. It’s kind of Zen, since she hasn’t caught a cat since Jess a week back. One trap clapping.

And webcam it. Hey, this could go viral. 

Thanks, Lily!

25 Dec

Nothing Says Merry Christmas Like Torturing Your Cat, Poisoning Your Dog, And Accusing You Of Being Full Of Devils.

Thanks, Lily!

Fortunately, you haven’t killed any of us yet, and I got Jess out and she was promptly adopted into Cat Lottery Win. Meanwhile, everyone else nonhuman is consigned into quarters unless supervised. Because you are so fucking batshit crazy that I don’t want you within 500 feet of any of us without a wall in the way. Or me.

Thank Dog you don’t know about drones.

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